How to Identify and Live by Your Core Values for a More Fulfilling Life

" Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

-Charles Bukowski.

This line has been attributed to Bukowski many times, but it's not in any of his published poems or novels... Sooo it is likely that he didn't write it, but... He is one of my all time favourites, so I rather present it to you from him. Specially since we will be discussing self-identity and societal expectations.

Let jump in...

Are you living a life that truly resonates with who you are? A life that makes you happy? Did you really make that choice on your own accord? or was it an idea that was implanted in you by propaganda? Or worse - by those who you seek approval from?

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with external influences, even in our most intimate moments (while we are in the loo), it's no surprise to know that ideas that aren't ours often dictate our choices and actions. That our thoughts are not as unique as we think. AKA. What we think we want, is NOT actually what we want, nor is it good for us.

It’s crucial to take time to pause and reflect on what truly matters to us. I'd dare to say (without any proof - just from talking to the people I've met), that most of the world never really find out what they love or value. We spend years of our lives on autopilot, without paying attention to our choices and what is actually important to us, taking the path of least resistance.

So what is important to us? How does one live well?

Well, philosophers have been asking these questions for thousands of years. There is no easy way, and certainly not one correct answer. I will be writing more pieces on philosophy and philosophers like the one on shortness of life by Seneca. But, the best I can share with you today, is that, the answer is within you! I don't know who you are or what you care about. No really does, except you.

As often I can, I make the conscious effort to stop and reflect about what I value and care about. I don't even do it as much as i'd like, but I usually have quite a good grasp of it. So let me show you how to do the same:

Let’s embark on a journey to discover the key to living a good life – not based on others’ standards, but rooted in your own beliefs and desires.

How to Uncover What You Love

Living a good life starts with understanding what brings you genuine happiness. With knowing yourself. It all starts with you.

Take a moment to think, and ask yourself "what do I love?". What activities make your heart sing and your spirit soar. Whether it’s painting, hiking, cooking, dancing, sex, martial arts, or conspiracy creation, identifying what you love is the first step towards crafting a life thats truly yours. One that reflects your true self.

If you don't know what you love, then go out and try new sh*t! Go out and try lots of new stuff you've never done before. There are millions of activities you could spend your time on that would be better than scrolling on your phone, or watching that series for the 5th time.

Embrace your interests and hobbies wholeheartedly, for they hold the key to a fulfilling existence.

The Power of Introspection

In this fast paced world with deadlines and stress, it’s easy to lose sight of our inner voice amidst the clamor of external expectations. By engaging in introspection, we grant ourselves the gift of self-awareness and clarity. Ask yourself: Why do I think the way I do? Why do I act in a certain manner? Or take it one step further, and take some of the interests you've analysed and ask yourself : Why do I love doing that? Does it come from me, from the inside, or is it someone else's expectations of me liking this that makes me like it?

By delving deep into these inquiries, you can unravel the layers of conditioning and societal norms that may be clouding your authentic self.

Living life your way!

We start by embracing your values and interests and then what follows is living life on your own terms. Living life YOUR WAY. That's the key to happyness.

If there is some sort of 'way things should be', and you think they are stupid, or they just don't feel right with who you are, then, I invite you to say f*ck it. Don't follow, be you and don't apologize for it.

Nietzsche said in his book The Will to Power: “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.”

Try and be more conscious in the decisions you make so that they align with your beliefs, even if they diverge from the mainstream. Remember, no one should tell you who you are and what makes you you. By staying true to yourself, you pave the way for a life filled with purpose and contentment.

Embracing Change and Growth

Living in alignment with your values also entails being open to change and growth. Think how much the world has changed the last 10 years... image how crazy life will be in another 40 years...

As we evolve and learn more about ourselves, our priorities will almost certainly shift, and that’s perfectly fine. Some times, taking that first step toward being yourself is the hardest, and once you do, you won't be able to stop. Creatng an everlasting impact and happyness for being who you are. Embrace opportunities for personal development, explore new passions, and welcome change with open arms. Remember, growth almost always occurs outside our comfort zone.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Regular self-reflection is a powerful tool for navigating life in accordance with our values. Set aside time to ponder your experiences, choices, and emotions.

I like to give myself 3 minutes of silence every day. Usually in the mornings when having my coffee, where I just sit and think in silence to myself. If I don't have a busy day, then I'll do a little more.

I don't have a name for it, but I like to think of it as some sort of concious meditation. Instead of trying to keep your mind blank, you do the opposite. You give it the time and space to think, not leading it anywhere... just let it wonder into yourself. Let it guide you into what it needs. It's like giving the mind a breath of fresh air. I invite you to try this too.

By examining your thoughts and actions, you gain insights into what truly matters to you and how to lead a life that reflects your innermost desires. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of living authentically.

The end?

In a world that constantly bombards us with external standards and ideals, finding our own path to fulfillment is an act of courage and self-discovery. By embracing introspection, questioning our beliefs, and aligning our actions with our values, we can unlock the secret to a good life – one that is defined by authenticity and joy.

My happy life, is one that involves travel, friendship, reading, writing, sunsets, sunrises, adventure, a little bit of mischief (because I consider myself a bit of a revel to society), sport (specially water sports), family and love. They are all important to me in different ways. They all contribute to my life and living it my way. There are many more layers, but that's the gist of it.

What about you? What makes your life worth living?

Don't be shy! Dare to explore what you love, dare to live by your own values, and dare to embark on a journey of self-discovery.

Let’s take a pledge together... to live authentically, love passionately, and embrace life’s wonders. Remember, the key to a good life lies within you. No one else knows what is best for you than yourself. – listen closely, follow your heart, and watch as your existence transforms into a life you are happy to wake up to every day.

I hope you are all well.

Sending love x

Ivan Tornado

Here I am about to go kitesurfing. Loving life (even if it doesn't show so much in the pic). I am also happy to see my blog growing slowly. Oh... I also don't have a girlfriend anymore, just in case you guys were wondering.

I said i'd never use AI to write my blog, but... AI has just gotten too big to not use... I didn't use it to write it all, but I did make some sort of skeleton to then fill. I had to admit it here because that's also part of who I am.